


You Can Still be Free

by ayame_kazutaka



Series: You Can Still be Free [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Domestic Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25383508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayame_kazutaka/pseuds/ayame_kazutaka
Summary: Tired of living in an abusive relationship, Wooyoung run away to start a new life.
Series: You Can Still be Free [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838299
Kudos: 8





	1. Prologue - You Can Still be Free

**Author's Note:**

> * unbetaed (English is not my first language, sorry)  
> I'll be adding new characters as the story progress
> 
> WARNING
> 
> GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF: alcohol usage, mentions of drugs, violence, mental health, mention of non-consensual sex, and more.

He woke startled when he heard the door opening. Usually Taecyeon wouldn't come back so soon after a beating. His body tensed when he heard footsteps heading toward his room. He closed his eyes and pretend to sleep when the person approached the bed. He was afraid that Taecyeon had come back to finish what he started earlier. His heart almost stopped when the person put his hand over his mouth to silence him. Even though, he knew it would be useless to resist, he struggled against his captor until he heard Changbin's voice in his ear.

"Quiet, Woo. We need to be quick. We don't have time to lose."

"Binnie? What are you doing here?", asked Wooyoung, bewildered. If Taecyeon found Changbin in their room, he would kill his friend and then beat him up again.

"Hurry up, Woo", repeated Changbin urgently in a low voice. "Get dressed and let's go".

"Where to?", asked Wooyoung in a small voice. Changbin and he were harboring false hopes that Wooyoung would be able to escape that horrible life, leave Taecyeon and start fresh. "I can't. Taecyeon would never let me go."

"Why do you think we are doing this behind his back?", said Changbin entering the closet and throwing some clothes into a backpack he brought with him. Before leaving the closet he took one of Wooyoung's caps.

"I have nowhere to go", insisted Wooyoung panicking, but even in a panic he followed his friend's instructions. Months in an abusive relationship had taught him not to question orders, after several beatings he learned that obedience was the best strategy. That was his routine, he lived in fear of what his boyfriend might do to him.

"Don't worry about it, just come with me", said Changbin while finishing packing his friend's things. Then in an uncharacteristic rush, Changbin dragged Wooyoung up to the fire escape, that stood open. "Woo, I arranged everything for you to escape from Taecyeon. You just need to trust me and not look back. Do you trust me?"

Not trusting his voice at the moment, Wooyoung just shook his head. Changbin was the only person he trusted, if he had not been around he would have done something stupid to escape his life a long time ago. However, even though he trusted Changbin, he was afraid of the consequences of this madness. He knew that his life would be much worse if he tried to escape and Taecyeon caught him.

Happy with the answer, Changbin guided Wooyoung to a car parked two blocks from the building. They got into the car and drove in silence for a while. He wanted to put his thoughts in order and wait for his heart to calm down a little. The first part of his escape had been successfully completed. Now came the hardest part, getting out of town without anyone noticing at least for a few hours.

"Woo, I'm leaving you here, because I don't want risk someone seeing us together near the bus station. You need to dissapear without a trace. Here are the tickets and the hotel address that you can temporarily stay in. Sorry, but that's all I can do for you for now", explained Changbin handing it all to Wooyoung. "I wish I could go with you, but I need to stay and keep an eye on Taecyeon".

Along with the backpack he handed over some money. Wooyoung wanted to refuse the money, but he couldn't. There would be no way to get money from the bank or use one of his cards because Taecyeon controlled everything.

"Thank you, Binnie. I can't thank you enough" said Wooyoung, his voice choked with emotion. He knew that it all took months of planning. "Except that it doesn't matter where you leave me, or that nobody sees us together, because he knows you're my only friend, the only person who could have helped me."

"I know that and I don't care, I just want to give you a bit of an advantage before he start chasing you. Besides I have a perfect alibi for today. Now you need to hurry up and catch that bus. After all the work I've had, it's the least you can do for me", joked Changbin before Wooyoung had time to protest. Changbin always turned to humor when things got emotional, Wooyoung was used to it. "One more thing, take this cell phone. If something happens I will let you know and you will only contact me if it is very important, life or death important. The less I know, the better."

Before he left, Changbin handed over the cap he had picked up at the apartment, he had completely forgotten that his face showed Taecyeon's fury. The adrenaline had made him forget the beating he took a few hours ago, he knew that as soon as he stopped he would remember it perfectly, but at the moment nothing mattered because he was finally managing to break free.

He put on his cap and his hoodie to cover his face, said goodbye to his friend and got out of the car going to the bus station. He never looked back, afraid of losing his courage. Changbin had risked so much, he couldn't let him down. He walked with his head down, hoping he didn't encounter any acquaintance, especially none of Taecyeon' friends.

His stomach was churning from anxiety. Changbin booked a bus that would leave soon, so within minutes he boarded, his mind in a whirl. He was desperate for the bus to leave. He fear that at any moment Taecyeon or one of his goons would show up and take him off the bus. He had dreamed of leaving his boyfriend for a long time, but after the beatings he took when he tried to talk to Taecyeon about ending their relationship, he accepted that there was no way out.

Taecyeon had sworn that if Wooyoung left him he would bring him back at any cost. When he remembered his boyfriend's promise that they would be together forever, he almost had a panic attack. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, he couldn't go back, he had to move on and try a new life.

As he calmed down, he began to feel pain in his whole body. Normally Taecyeon wouldn't hit his face to avoid drawing too much attention to their problems, but that night he had lost control more than usual and no part of Wooyoung's body had been unharmed. He was lucky that his injuries did not require medical care, he had no money to go to a hospital and even if he had, he would not go to one, because he hated the looks of pity, disgust and disapproval he received in the emergency rooms. Despite lying and defending Taecyeon, he saw on everyone's face that they knew the truth.

Wooyoung felt better when the bus finally left the station. It had been a long time since he had done anything without being told by Taecyeon. His lover controlled all aspects of his life and he couldn't do a thing about it. Now finally he was in charge of his life again, he just hoped he knew what he was doing.

He was relieved when he saw that he was almost alone in the bus. He looked in his backpack for something that would help him pass time, he didn't want to think about his lover and his shitty life. While rummaging through his things, he saw that his friend had chosen his favorite clothes and, among them, he found his Ipod, he adjusted his cap to cover his face and fell asleep listening to music.


	2. Running Away

In the first stop Wooyoung sat on a bench far from any entryway, he was afraid his ex-boyfriend would find him so close to home. ”What if Taecyeon comes home early? What if he talks to Binnie and finds me? What will he do to me? “, were the thoughts that infested his mind along the way, he couldn't stop thinking about what could go wrong.

Despite his fears, he was very hungry. The last time he ate was at lunch the day before and not eating for so long usually gave him a migraine. The last thing he needed at the moment was to get sick. Not far from where he was sitting, he saw a small cafe. Apprehensive, he got up and quickly bought something. The coffee was water down and cold, the sandwich was dry and stale. After a few bites, he throw it away.

He still had to wait some time before the next bus arrived. He didn't know if he should wait hidden in a corner or mingle with the crowd in an attempt to go unnoticed. Taecyeon knew people across the country and Wooyoung feared that one of them could find him if he stayed too long in one place. He was tense, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. He knew it could be because of the marks on his face and neck that drew a lot of attention and that they would get worse over time.

He barely sleep in the first part of the trip, he was plagued by vividly realistic nightmares about Taecyeon. His whole body was sore and he had not even an ibuprofen to help with the pain. These would be the three longest days of his life, but, at least that way, he didn't need to present any documents, his steps wouldn't be recorded. Binnie had thought of everything.

He still couldn't believe he had followed Changbin's insane plan. Before all that Taecyeon already didn't like Binnie at all, and if he found out how much he was involved in Wooyoung's escape, he would probably kill him.

He didn't even want to think about what would happen when Taecyeon found out that he had run away. He was certain that Binnie would be the first person his ex-boyfriend would look for and he wouldn't believe that his friend was not involved. He wanted to go back and prevent something happening to Changbin, but he knew it would be worse if he went back, because everything his friend had done would have been worthless.

When he was almost having another anxiety attack, he saw his bus had finally arrived. Finally he managed to relax a little, he was getting paranoid while he waited. He thought anyone could be Taecyeon's informant. Even being confined in a bus for many hours was better than being there, in plain sight. Tired, he fell asleep as soon as they left the city.

He woke up disoriented, for a few minutes, he was paralyzed with fear. He didn't know where he was or how he got there. As soon as he managed to calm down a little he remembered that he was on a bus going to California. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He still had many hours of travel ahead of him, he had to control himself or he would go crazy before arriving.

At the last stop he had bought a book, but he couldn't focus on the words in front of him. He had been trying to read the first page for almost half an hour, to no avail. Listening to music was out of the question, after almost a day of listening the same songs, he couldn't even hear the first chords. He was tired of the monotonous landscape outside the window. He knew he was restless because he hadn't been able to sleep properly since he left home. He had dozed off for a few hours, but he couldn't because his injuries didn't agree with the uncomfortable bus seat.

He put the book away and closed his eyes, he needed to rest. He still had a long journey ahead of him. He tried to avoid thinking about Taecyeon and everything he had left behind, he needed to think about his future, make plans for his new life. A life without the abuses of his ex-boyfriend. He fell asleep with a small smile on his lips thinking he was finally free.

_☼_

_“Who was the man you were flirting with, Wooyoung?” Taecyeon exploded as soon as they entered the luxurious apartment where they lived._

_Unsettled by the behavior of the boyfriend who, until that moment, was very calm, Wooyoung kept silent, didn't know what he was talking about. He had worked as usual that night at the bar. He always talked with everyone, he was attentive, but he always shied away from bold patrons. He went through his night in his mind and couldn't remember anything that could make his boyfriend so mad._

_"I'm talking to you", said Taecyeon holding Wooyoung's arm and pulling him closer to him._

_"I didn't do anything", answered Wooyoung trying to get rid of his boyfriend hold, without success. Taecyeon increased the pressure on his arm when he started to react. "Let me go Taecyeon, you are hurting me"_

_"Beside throwing yourself at the men in the bar you're going to lie to me? I saw it all", accused Taecyeon holding Wooyoung other arm and shaking him violently._

_"I don't know what you're talking about. I was working like always, I didn't treat anyone differently", said Wooyoung, starting to get worried. Taecyeon was out of control. He quit his attempt to get free when he realized that the more he struggled, the more angry Taecyeon became. He needed to keep calm or someone would get hurt._

_"So, do you always throw yourself to anyone interested when I'm not around?", asked Taecyeon, shaking Wooyoung more. "Do I need to keep an eye on you so that you behave?"_

_"Taecyeon, please ... ", Wooyoung tried to defend himself, but Taecyeon wasn't listening._

_"Shut the fuck up. I should have listened when they told me you were a whore. I let myself be deceived by your pretty boy innocent act", screamed Taecyeon pushing Wooyoung hard against the wall. Wooyoung hit his head and fell to the floor at the boyfriend's feet. "Shit, I shouldn't have ignored everyone's advice. I was an idiot to believe a gold digger like you"._

_Wooyoung stayed on the ground, a little bewildered. His vision lost focus and he tasted bile in his mouth. He heard Taecyeon cursing and screaming. A firm hand gripped his chin, lifting his face, forcing him to look into his boyfriend's enraged eyes._

_"I should keep you here, you know?", the tone was harsh, cold. Something Wooyoung had never heard before in his lover's voice. It scared him. The headache increased with an excruciating intensity and the dizziness was renewed. In the distance he heard things be throw and break. "I should keep you here, chained to my bed, at my disposal all the time. So you don't fall into temptation with the men at my bar". A satisfied and dangerous smile adorned Taecyeon's face. "In fact ... ", too quick for Wooyoung's stunned mind to process what was happening, Taecyeon grabbed him by his hair and throw him brutally on the bed._

_"Since you behave like a street whore, maybe I should treat you like one". Taecyeon took advantage of Wooyoung's lethargy to pin him against the bed, the cold scornful smile still there, more open than ever._

_Wooyoung was panting, he couldn't even breathe properly because of the fear that took over his body. He didn't understand why Taecyeon was treating him that way. In a painful gasp he asked Taecyeon to get off him. When he saw that it was useless he just closed his eyes and accepted the fact that he was at his boyfriend mercy, who was much stronger than him._

_"You'll learn to never embarrass me in front of my employees again", whispered Taecyeon squeezing Wooyoung's throat._

_☼_

He woke up crying, it seemed that Taecyeon would not leave him alone, even being far away. That had been the first time his boyfriend had assaulted him. He had almost been raped that night, but for some reason, Taecyeon stopped and the next day he was remorseful. He did everything to make Wooyoung forgive him, even kneeled at his feet and cried. Stupidly, he accepted the excuses and it was the beginning of a new chapter in their relationship, a toxic and violent one.

The marks of their troubled relationship were difficult to forget. He couldn't believe he stayed with him after the first assault. He had always judged people who were in abusive relationships when he wasn't in one. From the outside it was easy to solve other people problems. If he had done the right thing and left at the beginning, his life would not be the mess it was in now. He changed everything about himself to suit his boyfriend's demands. He had even done crazy diets to lose weight when his boyfriend insinuated that he was fat.

He need to stop being so submissive and learn to impose himself. First, he had hidden his sexuality for many years to not embarrass his family, then he accepted to be his boyfriend's punching bag for fear of confronting and losing him. He seemed to attract men with a strong and dominating personality, so if he didn't change he would end up in another relationship like that.

In the beginning, the boyfriend was attentive and always did everything to please him, but in a short time, everything changed. He became violent and possessive. Small things would enrage him. It was hard to believe that such different personalities belonged to the same person. Worst of all, he changed his mood in the blink of an eye. One moment he was considerate and treated him as if he were the most special person in the world and the next he was violent and did not hesitate to beat him up. He lived in fear.

He had tried to hide from everyone what Taecyeon did to him, but lately, he didn’t just hit him at home, he would beat Wooyoung at the bar and at parties. He didn't know what was worse: the pain of the blows or the humiliation of everyone knowing what was going on between them. He knew that everbody judged him and considered him weak for not leaving Taecyeon, but it wasn't that simple.

The first time he tried to leave Taecyeon was when he became violent, but things only got worse. He got more aggressive and put one of his bodyguard following his every step. When he got tired of the situation, he tried to leave him again and Taecyeon threatened to kill him. Even though he knew what Taecyeon was capable of, he left home. That was the first time he ended up in the hospital because of his boyfriend.

The second time he did actually leave, he had broken up with Taecyeon over the phone and fled to Changbin's house while the boyfriend was traveling. A few days later he was run over a few blocks from his friend's building and the driver had fled without a trace. He and Binnie knew it was on purpose because the car caught him on the sidewalk. According to the doctors, he was lucky to have suffered only a mild concussion and some bruises in the accident, but as a precaution, they kept him under observation that night.

☼

_He was alone in the room, Binnie, after much insistence from Wooyoung, had gone out to eat something. Ever since he heard about the accident, he had not left his friend's side. He blamed himself for leaving Wooyoung alone, which was crazy because they couldn't be stuck together all the time. Changbin wanted to confront Wooyoung ex, but the last thing he wanted was for him and Taecyeon to meet. It would be a disaster and solve nothing. He closed his eyes and tried to rest, his head was throbbing and he was nauseous. He heard someone enter the room, he imagined it was Binnie; so he didn't open his eyes and pretend to sleep. He needed a little peace, despite his good intentions, Changbin was smothering him with his worry and guilt._

_"I hope you learned your lesson, sweetheart", said Taecyeon coldly as he sat in the chair next to the bed._

_Surprised, Wooyoung opened his eyes and saw Taecyeon. He was alone, none of his security guards with him. Desperately he looked around for Binnie who should be back by now._

_"If you're looking for Changbin, forget it. I already got rid of him", warned Taecyeon watching his boyfriend' reactions. "Not definitely, as I wanted, but I spoke to the hospital administration and he was banned from the hospital. We have a private issue to discuss and I don't want anyone to get in the way"._

_"We don't have anything to say to each other. I said it's all over between us", said Wooyoung, trying to hide the tremor in his voice. he needed to stay strong or he wouldn't be able to get out of that life._

_"Put one thing on that pretty head of yours, Wooyoung: things will only end between us when I say it's over. You're going home with me and you're not going to work at the bar anymore. Also I don't want you around Changbin, he's a bad influence as we saw", explained Taecyeon, menacingly. "Think that what happened with you was just a warning, next time you may not be so lucky or maybe something could happen with your friend"._

_He was stunned by Taecyeon's admission. He and Binnie were almost sure that his accident was Taecyeon's work, but he didn't expect him to talk about it as if it was nothing. He realized, at that moment, that it wouldn't be easy to escape from his boyfriend._

_"I hope you have learned your lesson, or next time I won't be so indulgent with you. Whoever gets between us will suffer the consequences, remember this before upseting me again", remarked Taecyeon. "Soon a doctor will stop by to sign your discharge papers, I want to take care of you at home"._

☼

He woke up from his daydreams when they arrived at the next bus stop. It was unbelievable that he couldn't go fifteen minutes without thinking about Taecyeon. Each memory was more painful than the last, he needed to stop thinking about it.

Near the end of his trip he was beat. At each stop, he was worried that he might run into one of his ex's henchmen. He thought it was unlikely that Taecyeon would bother to look for him for a long time, but he couldn't forget his threat. He knew how vindictive he was.

Finally, he was almost arriving in San Francisco. Just one more hour and he would be there. He couldn't keep still anymore. He had hardly slept, and when he managed to sleep he was plagued by nightmares. Some were memories of his relationship with Taecyeon and others were based on his fear of being found by him.

The money Binnie gave him would not last long, he would need to find a job and a place to live as soon as possible. This time he didn't want to depend on anyone, the less he depended on someone, the less vulnerable he would be.

When the bus stopped for the last time, Wooyoung was the first one to get off. He would be alone for the first time in more than one year. He didn't know if he should be afraid or happy. In the past few months, he had accepted he was trapped in that horrible relationship until Taecyeon got tired of him or until he killed him in one of his fits of jealousy.


	3. Two Beds and a Coffee Machine

Wooyoung didn't believe that he had finally arrived. He couldn't stand to stay cooped up inside the bus anymore. The last hours of the trip were endless, he was traveling for over three days non-stop. He was looking forward to seeing the city that he would call home.

It was still early, few people were on the street at that hour. He tried not to draw attention to himself while absorbing every single detail of the city. He put his backpack on his back, adjusted his cap, trying to cover as much of his face as possible, and resolved to walk a little before going to the place he would stay. He was exhausted, but he knew himself well enough to know that he could not rest while he was so agitated.

He bought a map of the city and explored the neighborhood. He had lost some of his initial paranoia and no longer thought Taecyeon - or any of his friends - would find him so soon. He knew that for some time, his ex would not think to look for him outside the city.

At first, Changbin's idea seemed crazy to him, but now he was sure that he had done the right thing. He was confident that Taecyeon would forget about him soon and find another poor sucker to be his punching bag. In a few weeks, he would be nothing more than a vague memory for his ex. However, even if Taecyeon gave up looking for him, he couldn't go home soon, but that was a small price to pay for his freedom. Forcing himself to stop thinking about his shitty past before he got depressed, he decided to just enjoy his newly discovered freedom.

He wandered for a long time, just absorbing the surrounding atmosphere. His only concern was to remain inconspicuous. He was admiring the landscape and was also observing people on the streets. Tourists and residents mingled on the crowded avenues. Tourists armed with phones, cameras, and camcorders recording all the moments of their trip while the residents walked, oblivious to the beauty around them, talking on their phones or distracted by their own lives.

Since he didn't know the place, he went to the hotel before nightfall. From what Binnie had told him, the place was not that great, but at least he wouldn't have to show any documents to register and they would ask no questions. He didn't know how his friend found this place and hadn't had time to ask. The only thing he had warned was that he should register as Shi-woo Lee and no one would bother him.

He would stay in what was considered "the most dangerous and decadent neighborhood" in the city, but compared to the first place he lived in New York, it was a walk in the park. There weren't so many graffiti walls. The buildings, despite showing signs of corrosion from time and pollution, weren't in ruins. There were fewer beggars, drug dealers, and prostitutes than expected. However, he would rather live there than be back with Taecyeon in his luxurious apartment.

After a few minutes of walking, he found the hotel squeezed between a low-income housing complex and a liquor store. It was a small, poorly maintained building. The paint was faded and peeling, the windows dirty with frayed curtains, the floor was worn down. At the reception, a man with white hair and a wrinkled face was doing a crossword puzzle with the radio tuned to an old music station. His clothes were worn out, but very clean. 

Timidly, he approached the receptionist and waited in silence until the man noticed his presence. In no hurry, the elderly man put his crosswords aside, turned the radio down, took a book from a drawer, and placed it open on the table without saying a word.

Afraid, Wooyoung gave the fake name and waited while the man flipped through the registration book. The man confirmed the name, informed him that the first month must be paid in advance, and after that the payment was in cash weekly. Wooyoung paid for the first month, took the key, and hurried to his room, relieved that everything ran smoothly. The man barely glanced at him, which was great because his face was now black and blue, his parting gift from Taecyeon.

He was not surprised when he saw his room; it was smaller than the closet of Taecyeon's apartment. The walls, that one day, were white now were a grimy beige with various stains. His new home was just a small bedroom with a bed, a cupboard with a microwave and a few mismatched plates and cutlery, a tiny wardrobe, and a bathroom he could hardly move in.

He took a quick shower before anything, he was feeling dirty after traveling for so long. Before getting into the shower, he looked at the marks on his body. It was not only his face that was covered in bruises of all colors, but the worst was the purple marks around his neck. Bruises that could only be hidden by wearing scarfs and turtlenecks. He hoped the bruising on his face would be gone soon or job hunting would be a true challenge.

After showering, he unpacked his things and was disheartened to see he had so little. He would have to visit a few thrift stores nearby soon. After unpacking his meager belongings, he went for a walk around the neighborhood to take his head off his problems. He would start looking for a job the next morning because the money he had wouldn't last long, and he had left all his cards at home so he wouldn't be tracked. He had no qualifications or lots of experience so he knew he was going to end up working as a waiter again and he was okay with it.

At night, the neighborhood wasn't so welcoming as it did during the day. There were more drug addicts, panhandlers, and prostitutes on the streets. The families were in their homes and only a few cars were in the street. He found everything he could need near from the hotel. A small market, some not very appealing restaurants, a coin laundromat, a few liquor stores, and other small shops. He came across what seems to be the cleanest restaurant in the vicinity, a little Vietnamese restaurant, and bought something to eat at home.

Back in his room, he couldn't keep calm. When he was busy he had managed not to think about Taecyeon, but now, alone and with nothing to do, his mind was racing. He couldn't help thinking about what Changbin might be going through because of him. He wanted to call his friend so bad to find out how he was and how Taecyeon had reacted to his disappearance, but if he called, he would put Changbin at risk. As soon as Taecyeon discovered he was missing he would keep tabs on Changbin the whole time. He needed to get a grip on himself and wait for a call from his friend. Binnie would know when was safe to call.

He was torturing himself trying to remember the good times he had with Taecyeon, but physical or verbal aggression usually tainted those memories. He hadn't fled before, because he was terrified about the consequences if he failed to escape. They didn't love each other anymore. Taecyeon treated him like a trophy, a possession. He despised and fear his lover. It was a toxic relationship. 

When he realized that rebelling and confronting Taecyeon was not the best solution, he always tried to make his boyfriend happy by obeying him, but even being so submissive hadn't improved his life. His lover always found a reason to pick on him. At work, almost everyone kept an eye on him. Only Binnie and Namjoon hadn't watched his every move. In the past few months, one of Taecyeon's henchmen had accompanied him everywhere, and he had to quit his job because his boyfriend didn't trust his henchman could keep Wooyoung in line.

He thought nothing could be worse than his life with Taecyeon, but he was beginning to realize that living in fear and uncertainty was also not good. He was sure that at any moment his lover would show up at his door to take him home or worst, to kill him.

All the confidence he had felt when he arrived disappeared. He could only think in the worst-case scenarios. The opportunities he had envisioned before became vague memories. Failure awaited him regardless of the path he chooses. He had no friends, money, or experience for a good start. He was crazy for thinking it was a good idea. Staying with Taecyeon was not ideal, but he should have planned it better.

He was tempted to go to the liquor store and buy something to numb his senses, but he couldn't do it because it wouldn't solve anything and he didn't have money to spend in frivolities. He needed to spend his money wisely until he got a job.

He needed to stop thinking in all that could go wrong before he had another a panic attack. He took a deep breath and tried to put those depressing thoughts aside. In the solitude of his room, he had no reason to be excited, but he shouldn't feel so down. He finally was free from his lover. When his disposable phone rang, he had to control himself not to shout. He answered it with his heart pounding in his chest.

“Hello?”, answered Wooyoung, hesitant. He knew Binnie was the only person who had that number, but even so, he wasn't sure it was him calling.

“Woo? How was the trip?”, asked Changbin as soon as he heard his friend's voice.

“Binnie? Thank God it's you, I was so worried about you”, said Wooyoung relaxing. It was a relief to hear a familiar voice in that distressing moment. At least for a while, he could put his depressing thoughts aside. And it was good to know his friend was safe.

"Why? You know you don't need to worry about me ever". said Changbin laughing.

"Because Taecyeon will not leave you alone until he finds me. And he knows that you are the only person who would risk anything to help me", replied Wooyoung. His friend's false bravado would not fool him. Binnie always tried to act tough, but he knew that with his escape, Taecyeon would not leave Binnie alone and would make his life hell.

"Of course he tried to find out where you are, but I didn't say a thing to him. I know he will send one of his lackeys to follow me for a while, but it's nothing I wasn't already expecting", said Changbin, without going into details.

"Binnie ... ", Wooyoung started. He imagined that things were not as smooth as his friend said, but he had no way of knowing what was happening.

"We have little time to talk, so I don't want to waste time talking about him,", said Binnie, interrupting Wooyoung abruptly. "You still haven't told me how your trip went".

He talked with Changbin for almost half an hour. He told only the good things about the trip, avoiding talking about his doubts and fears. Binnie didn't talk about any problems either. He wanted to press his friend to tell him what was happening because of him, but in the end, he respected his wishes. The farewell was long and Changbin said he would call when he had news or when he deemed safe.

After talking with Binnie, he was feeling a little better. He knew at the beginning things would be a little challenging, but at least Taecyeon was far away and had no clue of his whereabouts and that make him feel a little calmer. He slept before he started tormenting himself with negative thoughts.


	4. Fight Song

The unpleasant cacophony of horns and screams from the street woke him up. He had only slept two hours that night. Even after almost a month away from Taecyeon, he still had nightmares about him and was afraid of his own shadow. Discouraged, he got out of bed and went to take a shower.

He was practically broke; he needed to find a job immediately. He had no one to turn to if he needed help. He knew Bonnie didn't have savings, but would find a way to help him. He couldn't do that to his friend, always being a burden to him. So, a job was his main priority.

After getting dressed, he locked the apartment and went job hunting. That had been his routine since he arrived in San Francisco. Every day he went out in the morning looking for a chance. The smell of food coming from the cafes and kiosks on the street made him realize he was starving, he hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before. He stopped at a small hole in the wall and bought a coffee, a plain bagel, and the local newspaper. He ate his breakfast while looking at the ads. He found only two job offers he had not tried yet.

The first place was a bust. He filled out a form with at least more six people and he was told someone would call him. In the second place he almost got the job, but they wanted information about his last employment and he couldn't give it. He rather slept under the bridge than hand over his location to Taecyeon so easily.

He lost count of the jobs he had applied for. In the best places, he hadn't even been able to do the interview because they always asked for information from his last employer and documents. In the places where he had done interviews, he turned down the offer because either his future boss tried something sleazy or because his job required more than just serving drinks.

Although he was desperate, he didn't have the nerve to try for a job in bars and clubs because he was afraid of being recognized by a friend of Taecyeon. His ex knew many people in that kind of environment. He would also have a lot of problems because he wasn't old enough to serve drinks and the places that accepted a minor wouldn't be a great place to work.

He went farther and farther from the hotel where he was staying. That day he was close to a university, he knew that those areas were full of cafes and restaurants. Perhaps he would find something that had not been advertised in the newspapers.

He was turned down in a few places there because they favored university students. Discouraged and tired after another day of fruitless searching, he stopped at a cafe to eat something more substantial for the first time in two days. The cafe was small and cozy, but apparently busy. Two women busted their asses to serve the flow of customers. Since he was in no hurry he waited for a little before ordering.

He sat at a table near the counter and noticed that the two women were arguing about something. He didn't want to intrude, but since he was close, he heard everything. It seemed that they were understaffed. He was in an internal turmoil while deciding whether or not to speak to them, if he did they would know that he was eavesdropping, but if he didn't speak maybe he would miss an opportunity. Before the whole Taecyeon fiasco, he was an outgoing, positive person and outspoken. Now he was afraid to take any initiative, he needed to change or he would always lose opportunities.

"Sorry for interrupting, but I heard you saying that you needed someone to work tomorrow morning", Wooyoung said after gathering up the courage and approach the women cleaning the counters and the coffee machine.

"Yes, we need someone, but have you worked with it? We are short-handed and we cannot waste time training anyone", said the redhead.

"I used to work in a cafe, but my last job was in a bar", explained Wooyoung little by little losing his confidence. Apparently, that would be another failure.

"And are you old enough to work in one?", - asked the incredulous redhead looking Wooyoung up and down.

"Not exactly ...", replied Wooyoung nervously. He only got the job at the bar because his boyfriend owned the place and even so, under protests from his partner. They could lose their license if an inspection caught someone under the age of twenty-one selling alcohol.

"Hwasa! Don't be like that, we need someone to help open the cafe tomorrow", scolded the other woman taking over the conversation. "Don't mind her. I'm Solar and this is my partner Hwasa. We really need someone, two of our employees decided to quit today without any warning. Do you know how to handle the espresso machine?"

"I'm Wooyoung. I know how to use it, I'm just a little rusty", mumbled Wooyoung, stunned by the sudden change in the conversation. A sparkle of hope turn on in his chest, maybe he had a chance. "When I was in high school I worked in a cafe".

"When you were in high school? You look like you dropped out of school and ran away from home", said Hwasa looking suspiciously at Wooyoung

"What? No! I'm 20 years old. I didn't drop out of school", replied Wooyoung indignantly. He knew he looked younger, but not that much. He had run away, but not from his parents, which was what she suspected.

"Hwasa! Go, do something while I talk to him", ordered Solar without giving her partner a chance to disagree. Hwasa reluctantly obeyed. "Sorry about that, she doesn't have a filter most of the time. At the moment we need someone to open the store, but as she said we won't have time to train anyone. We can do a test and if you still remember how to handle this machine, we can talk. What do you think?".

Solar wasted no time and ask Wooyoung to prepare the most popular coffees. At first, Wooyoung was unsure because he hadn't worked with this machine in a long time, but with Solar help soon he got the hang of it. Solar helped him when he was in doubt and seemed excited about his progress. After preparing a few drinks she showed where things were in the cupboards and storage.

"And the cash register, do you know how to use it?", asked Hwasa surprising Wooyoung who had forgotten her.

"I don't know if it's the same program they used in the places I worked, but I know the basics", said Wooyoung a little more confident after having managed to do everything that was asked.

"Let me show you how our program works," Solar offered, moving Hwasa away from the cash register. Wooyoung spent almost an hour learning the basics of the shop. He would be on trial at least a week before the hire him. He was relieved that they didn't ask for a reference or a document. He had at least a week to think about what to say to Solar if she decided to hire him.

He went back to the hotel more excited, the pay was not as good as in the bar, but it was a start. He hadn't felt this confident in a longe time. Taecyeon had made him feel worthless and destroyed his confidence, little by little. After a while, he started to believe everything his boyfriend said, accepted all offenses, and just lowered his head. Physical abuse was horrible, but over time the marks would heal, while mental abuse was more difficult to overcome. Now was his chance to prove to himself that his ex was wrong, he was not worthless.

The next day he met the other two employees, since he was the only one who was not in college, he worked all the extra hours he could. After seeing that he was at least able to use the coffee machine, Hwasa stopped picking on him. He was almost at the end of his trial period and didn't know how to explain to Solar that he couldn't be legally hired.

During working hours, he hardly had time to worry about anything at all because the cafe was very busy, but when he returned to the hotel and was alone he started overthinking about his problems. He liked to work in the cafe, his coworkers were nice, his bosses were good and the best part was that he would never find any acquaintance of Taecyeon there.

"You are distracted today, Youngie", said Woojin surprising Wooyoung who thought he was hiding his anxiety well.

"I didn't sleep well tonight", lied Wooyoung trying not to draw attention to himself. Hwasa was sitting at a table near the counter talking to a friend. He needed to talk to Solar about his problem, he was a little afraid of Hwasa and her bossy personality.

Woojin was not convinced, but he didn't insist. He knew that his coworker was suspicious regarding his story about leaving home because his parents were radical religious who hadn't accepted that he was gay. He hadn't lied entirely, he had left his home for that reason. He had only neglected to tell that he had been in New York for almost two years before arriving in San Francisco.

They're almost closing the cafe and there was no sign of Solar. He was worried about having to tell his story to Hwasa, he never knew what to expect from her. To keep himself busy while the cafe was empty, he started cleaning the stockroom.

"You don't have to try so hard, Solar has already decided to hire you", said Hwasa entering the stockroom while Wooyoung was trying to organize it.

"I had nothing to do ... ", murmured Wooyoung organizing one of the shelves. It was almost time to close and no Solar. He didn't know if he would have the guts to tell his story to Hwasa, he had prepared to speak to Solar.

He breathed in relief when Hwasa said goodbye to them and warned him that in the morning Solar would talk to him. Hwasa was not a bad person, but he felt intimidated by her. Solar, on the other side, was more accessible, always joking with a smile on his face. 

Even though she was so approachable he wasn't sure how she would react when he told his story and asked to work without being registered. It was a big risk for her business. He knew that he would spend another sleepless night until he resolved that situation.

In those moments he missed Changbin even more, he had no one to talk to and ask for advice. Woojin tried to approach him, but he was unable to open up. He was afraid of being judged for his past. When he was with Taecyeon, he knew what was said about him behind his back, many accused him of being a gold-digger, others found him a weakling for enduring several beatings and not confront Taecyeon.


End file.
